DONE WITH THAT NOT DONE WITH THAT
You know the hardest thing I tell my best friend (on the phone), the thing coming back at you, every time? It's this, that somehow, anyhow, you still have to navigate, I mean, connection? to have the conversations?
like I mean with all those sad souls gone the other way?.... and there you are traversing like a rickety bridge over a widening ravine, and I mean walking on eggshells and dancing through minefields and riding lightly lightly, over rough terrain? All that, and, I mean, verbal fencing? With you know, tact, calculation, self censorship? All that just to hang on in there by your fingernails, keep your friendships, relationships and all, I mean, your lifelong loves?... the cruellest thing (it is ) that love becomes the hardest thing, though still the only thing to keep you there?... attached and holding fast the fractured space where once was holy ground...
She sighs, she knows. I'm not done yet. Like listening I say, that all that's left? Don't speak! The thing is who would actually hear you if you did? Who would or could hear what it is you have to tell them? So listening, don't speak! don't scare, don't bring the bad thing in the room. Just hold the line? observe the SOS in skittering eyes, touch terror under the safe and effective, bear....the glazed eye stare, judgements about conspiracy theorists. And just... don't speak! don't name the thing that can't be named, that can't be told.
Oh... well I'm done with that, she says. I'm done with them, I'm done with that. I'm never no-more looking back.
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COULDN'T DO ANOTHER PLEASE DON'T SAY WE HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER, LOCKDOWN
Hello, how are you, (you say)... they say grand, you know yourself, hard times! I'd say they would, they could, they might now, lock us down again next week, next month, again, or would you say? or Christmas, after Christmas,....sure they have to let us, let us... have the Christmas? surely let us have the Christmas let us ......let us. Hopefully ( you say), Maybe, (you say ) yeah they know... you need the Christmas? Yeah, ah, no, we couldn't like, I couldn't me, I mean I WILL NOT DO another lockdown? no, they wouldn't say another lockdown, no, I couldn't no..... they wouldn't... try..... like could they? ...would they? ...
I know (you say) I know and yeah they know we couldn't, mightn't, stand for that? Well yeah, (they say) I mean I'm fully vaccinated now? I've done my bit you have to do your bit, the Grannies, Daddy died... he died I don't... feel... safe, you do it for the others like, they.... haven't... can't get...vaccinated...we all have to, or it won't be, won't feel, isn't, safe...
oh right (you say) so does it actually, I mean, work?
DO IT FOR THE OTHERS AND YOU'LL BE SAFE (FOREVER)
Does what.. it works! It works! It works... you won't get sick, too sick, in, hospital, die! Only the unvaccinated....like, if only they would... far right terrorists you know....tin foil hatters, conspiracy theorists they are, heard about it on the Television like, those people? get their information from the internet you see, the science says, the TV says, I mean the papers say the science says we have to yes, my doctor says.....you do it for the others and you don't get sick! Or only like a cold... the radio says...
BREAKTHROUGHS
The break through cases now? (you say) like everywhere, they aren't best described as breakthroughs now?
THANK GOD THANK GOD SO LUCKY HOW WE TOOK THE COVID VACCINE
I know I know, my friend, her neighbour, Mammy, all the teachers at my daughter's school got ....yeah but sure you catch it, spread it sure you do, of course you do, it doesn't... matter, doesn't.... everybody knows you won't get actually sick? or really bad, or go to hospital, things like that, I mean people, everyone I know, has covid yeah. So all us are....vaccinated, yeah, and John, like after, he was really sick, ...and someone that I know's in hospital now with covid, and her heart, her heart.... but thats not anything to do with....vaccines, no, imagine just how bad it would have been, it could have been if we hadn't all, we didn't have the ....don't you see. ..like everyone I know is vaccinated! No, they weren't sick before but anyway I mean they had to get the covid sometime?....lucky like it's lucky...that....they got the covid now, after being I mean vaccinated, ....like we have to follow ...I mean science, everybody knows...
THE SCIENCE SAYS
Science is a work in progress though?....I mean things change...and scientists differ, learn from one week to the next, contradict each other, TAKE the money from the global groups you only hear....the media pets (you say) ( you're off again) , (you're saying way TOO MUCH again )
Well, I believe the Science? sure it's in the NEWS, and Luke O'Neill... Clare Byrne and Nephet know The Science. All that other stuff is.... just the right wing, racist, TERRORISTS on the... on the internet. My doctor, and my TD, sure the TV, say...!
But now, (you say), it's looking like the vaccinated need the booster, would you, will you... take the ....
AND LINING UP THE VULNERABLE FIRST, WHY DON'T WE
Boosters? ah I wouldn't want to take another, thats for older people sure, with like I mean co-morbidities like I shouldn't..... have to, really, like the first one wasn't bad, the second though....I mean it only meant it worked but still......I'm done, my mother now is going for it when she's called, she should ... she's vulnerable... old, it's better than the covid... eh?
you wouldn't think to... stand with people choosing not to have the vaccine, would you? maybe... stand with them against the vaccine passes (you say... softly, softly)
TRACK ME
covid passes!... I have mine, the QR code it's on my phone, it's shocking handy, all your info's there about like vaccinations.... for travelling like, your boarding pass, it runs like clockwork, straight through airports, no delays, the ones without the passport have to wait ...they have to... queue?...
Was it to travel then, (you say), why you took the shot or, I mean, on account of covid?
Travel? yeah, I never got to go away, like ANYWHERE for two whole years and now I can, and so can you and anyone, if only you would, they would do the right thing stop the spread the SCIENCE says...
TRACE ME
but still, (you say) like, contact tracing means you never know the day the hour you'll be locked down again, and so it's never I mean, ever, over, dearest one....
the Contact tracing? sure you have to really, like my kids are home from school 'cause some one had the sniffles. Then you have to, I mean get them tested too, to see if they'll, like, have to be like quarantined... the testing? no, the kids don't mind, they have to sure, the covid's bad in all the schools...
PASS ME ONE MORE ANTIGEN TEST WHY DONCHA
but testing, like inserting swabs up, up, your nose, til tipping off the blood brain barrier, daily, up, your children's nose, its tipped with ethylene oxide dear one, hydrogel, it's carcinogenic, (you try)
MASKS ARE PRETTY
Ah no... I never heard of 'ethylene oxide', anyway how else can they I mean find out, if you have it, covid? Blood brain barrier? no! they wouldn't send us tests that....no... I mean, the kids do sometimes cry, a nose bleed maybe but... sure what else can you do... the virus ...never isolated? ah now, get a grip! the science knows. The kids are just protected, by the tests, the masks...
MASKS ARE WARM
So what about bacterial pneumonia, from like breathing back you own breath's waste? dear heart (you say)
bacterial pneumonia, naw... they don't mind wearing masks? The little children have to be reminded, yea, but covid's in the aerosols you know, you have to stop the aerosols. Waste on your breath? now who says that, the internet? like, sometimes I feel faint in supermarkets or at work but so? I go outside? I take a breath, don't make a fuss.... they make you wear the masks outside? Well, sure there's aerosols outside... hello! Stay home, I'd say, just order in your food and watch netflix, how hard is that? it's there for you, if you just won't, you can't, you WILL NOT do your bit. Can't do your bit? ah now I kinda like the masks myself, you don't want people always looking at your face, and sure its even warmer in the cold, It's grand, its fine, it's pretty!
SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN/VACCINATE THEM ALL
The kids get vaccinated, yeah, to keep them safe? already safe? not necessarily, like, some end up in the ICU... it said that on the news, and, like, we have to vaccinate them... they can spread... infect us all? I mean I have, like, vulnerable people in my house, I'm living with my granny and you have to have your children done...to save us, save us, save us... all?
CHOICE
I blame unvaccinated people, spreading, getting, passing covid, stopping this from ever being over, yeah, the Taoiseach says, sure only lockdowns, mandatory vaccinations works with them, I wouldn't want to... even mix with them, the anit-vaxxers, indoors... don't feel safe, I always ask in restaurants, bars, say ' have you checked their covid passes', first, insist, my friends and me... before we'd even go inside...
IMAGINE IF WE HADN'T GOT THE VACCINE
So now well yeah, you might get sick....but not too badly, not enough... to fill up hospitals, infect the vulnerable people...and, I mean, of course, of course you DO still get it, I know lots of people got it after their vaccine ....at home with symptoms, lost their sense of tase and smell, your mouth all sore with blisters, stuck in bed for weeks with weakness, yeah, but just imagine how MUCH WORSE it would have been without your.....yeah, at least you know it won't be fatal, if you're, fully ,vaccinated, yeah at least you know...you don't...you won't...
DYING
Never over? yeah, but no but yeah at least you know you're safe. I mean so many people sick, with heart attacks and strokes, my boss at work, my neighbour, friends, the priest is dead... they're in the hospital with strokes and blood clots, heart conditions.... dead, it's like... it's scary now. They say, the TV says, it's lockdowns, covid....normal. Normal. God oh god, you know, I'm sick and tired of going to funerals?
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IN THE SLIPSTREAM
Leave them at it my friend says. It's, basically, not your business anymore?
But
People (yours) they tell you now they can't eat dinner with their family Sundays, Christmas day. They can't go home, or even talk to former friends... or brothers, sisters. Can not bridge the yawning chasm now, they fall...let go.... They tell you how they stand for reason, truth. So here are Truthers. here the Normal People... call each other names. break ties of blood and heart, and still you must, you have to try... to bypass ranting, raging politics, downloaded narratives... seek and look for, offer, to your loved ones all your good attention....I mean, love?
The children argue with me, buy their antigen tests, and speculate. Our good friend Ursula is sick, her kind heart crushed, (a huge blood clot). So was it Covid caused it did they say, my son is asking his sister here in my house as I sit at my kitchen table writing. No (I say) no, they don't know that! You can't say that! He looks at me, he turns his head away ... I mean, he says, whose talking to you anyway?,....I mean, why are you even talking?
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Yeah I tell my most beloved friend, I said that yesterday, tomorrow maybe, 'done with it! I'm done with that, I'm done'. Today I'm trapped here in the slipstream, voices of the people rushing though my blood like water, tinnitus, hopeless,....unconditional,... confounded, you know, love?
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