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Wednesday, 1 May 2013

The Russians are coming.

.                                                 Crazy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             "Oh you know, I mean  I don't think I'm actually getting through here",  My husband hands me a restorative glass of wine.  "Yeah,  not. I mean he resists, he argues, he contradicts, he presents counter arguments as  energetic as they are, dear God, just plain daft.  "You were supposed to study for one hour"  I say. "And I did. What do you mean supposed. I did"  he says. "Didn't"  I say.  "Timed you from the moment you collapsed on your bed with the school book and your earphones in  to the time  you collapsed on the sofa, with the TV  remote and your ear phones in.  Twenty  minutes. Tops ".  "No"  he says "No. I think you'll  find it was actually thirty five  minutes in fact. Cos it was English, And I'm good at English. So thirty five minutes is as good as an hour when it's English".  "Now just back up there" I manage. "Just hold on there a second". He doesn't.  "And YOU don't seem to realise, I mean has it ever occurred to you that your life would be so much easier if you'd stop with the crazy rules..just trust me, I mean  my friends parents never.. eh... bother them like this ..and now I am just not doing any more study  ever at all, thanks to your picking on  me, no more EVER.  AND you have only yourself to blame"   he finishes,  romping home.

                                                     Russians

"You see" says my husband as he pours me another " You're just not talking his language".  "Huh?.  "Sure. You gotta tell him it's a war, it's a  war and  we need  an Accord.  Second World War tell him.  He is Russia, the boss she is Greece carefully weighing up the merits of all sides,  the beautiful girl is Belgium, just wants peace, just wants quiet, just wants  to get on with her own more important stuff, but us, we are the Allies. He can't actually win without us. He might be the Russians, baby,  but we have the inside track. He needs us, he knows it, so tell him to shut up and do it.. United we just can't be beat.

                                                   Because we are are the Allies.

 Right. Well.  That helped.  I mean yeah,  Greece, Belgium and all the Russians are plotting, stropping,
marauding through our house, but that's basically Ok . We have the inside track, we're all over it ,  we have strong liquor. We are the Allies.